The Game of Game of Thrones – Week 5

Play-By-Play

The players take a breather in the not-so-action-packed episode of Game of Thrones this week. Yes, that’s right, stabbing, poisoning, and sieging all take a backseat to letter writing and long overdue reunions.

Week 5 resumes immediately after the fiery battle of The Reach. Daenerys has rounded up and successfully captured the remnants of the Lannister army where they are given the ultimatum of incineration or submitting to Daenerys’s popular catchphrase of “bend the knee”. Randyll and Dickon Tarly refuse to surrender and are swiftly cremated by Drogon, earning them each points for a memorable death.

Returning to King’s Landing, Jaime admits to Cersei that they might be biting off more than they can chew by waging war with Daenerys, where Cersei replies that they are going to win this war or die trying. She also slyly mentions that Jaime is a daddy again and she is going to let the whole kingdom know. As Cersei puts it, “A lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep”. Points to the both of them for getting knocked up and being the worst brother/sister pair in the golden age of television.

To quickly cover the rest of the events in a timely fashion… Samwell takes advantage of his library card, Tyrion and Varys share a crisis about enabling a pyromaniac, Jon Snow bonds with a dragon, Arya gets punk’d by Littlefinger, Jorah goes south to Dragonstone just in time to get sent north of the wall, and finally Davos dishes out aphrodisiacs with a long lost Baratheon. Oh man, I bet Gendry is pissed now that he knows how fast people travel in this show!

The closing play of the episode shows off the most rag tag group of misfits this show has ever seen as they prepare to “Stand By Me” it up and go find themselves a dead body. Bring your jackets for next week. It’s going to be a cold one.

Most Valuable Player – Week 5

This week we regrettably have to posthumously award the MVP crown to Randyll and Dickon. A plot-centric episode with an abundance of narrative and lack of action made the memorable deaths of the two Tarlys the highest scoring scene in the episode. I hope they know their sacrifice was not in vain.

The Standings

Bran’s Legs: 850 Points

Baelish’s Bailiffs: 585 Points

The Valyrian Steelers: 480 Points

Ned’s Dead: 260 Points

To no one’s surprise, Bran’s Legs continue their dominating lead in this league. It truly might take a miracle for the tide to turn in favor of our less lucky teams.