The Game of Game of Thrones – Week 3

Play-by-Play

Welcome back to Westeros, where the drama is real and the time and distance between locations is meaningless. Jon Snow has just arrived on the shores of Dragonstone to finally meet up with the invading queen, Daenerys. The following conversations between the prodigal prince and princess are fantastic payoff for six seasons of build up, but sadly aren’t great for points. Daenerys, Jon, Tyrion, and Davos all pick up minimal points, while the world continues to crumble around them.

The Unsullied take the unconquerable Casterly Rock thanks to Tyrion’s secret prostitute tunnel and Grey Worm nets a hefty amount of points for capturing a city and shish-kebabing some Lannisters.

Meanwhile at King’s Landing, Euron Greyjoy returns with gift in tow for an ecstatic Cersei. Cersei takes no time in chaining up Ellaria and Tyene in the dungeon to exact the titular “Queen’s Justice”. If the Lannister’s know anything, it’s revenge. Now they just gotta work on paying those debts.

Most Valuable Player – Week 3

Riding a torture high, Cersei meets up with Jaime to score in the most unholy fashion. This session of brother/sister action, wine drinking, and bare man buns puts Jaime at the top of the leaderboard. The Kingslayer marches on High Garden, takes the city, and sits down over some poisoned wine with newly revealed kingslayer, Olenna Tyrell. It’s hard to believe this is how she goes after doing the world such a favor.

Injury Report

Olenna, Ellaria, and Tyene are out for the foreseeable future on account of being poisoned or starved.

Yara Greyjoy is at King’s Landing held hostage by her insane uncle and her return is… questionable.

On a positive note, Jorah is cured of dragonscale and is cleared for a comeback in the following weeks.

The Standings

Bran’s Legs: 440 points

Baelish’s Bailiffs: 435 points

The Valyrian Steelers: 325 points

Ned’s Dead: 210 points

Baelish’s Bailiffs are keeping a close second reminding Bran’s Legs that The Game of Game of Thrones is a marathon and not sprint.

Thanks to a big week by Jaime and Cersei, The Valyrian Steelers and Ned’s Dead are gaining some much needed ground. Still any team’s game!

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